"No Scotty NO!!"

Because of a convergence of unlikely events - a math test that took me 12 minutes to take, an online history test which meant there was no history class, and effectively no economics because all we were doing was handing in our really long exam packet things to the teacher - I only had to endure a short amount of time in the classroom today. Unfortunately, today is the long day where I have to wait for Abby to finish her moronic "Personal Communications Class" at 4:15. So I ended up spending a total of nearly five hours sitting in the library.

I did bring a book to read, an interesting biography of Gen. Sherman that merely reinforces my view of him, but I didn't feel like reading it. So I sat on the computer. For hours, and hours, and hours. And for some reason, I found myself reading Wikipedia articles about Star Trek. I think it began when I looked up an episode because something weird happened in it and it was referenced in another article somewhere. And what happened is the same thing that happens when you read Wikipedia articles on Star Wars, or Lord of the Rings, or any vast fictional universe - you get get linked from one article to another, endlessly. I ended up spending more than an hour reading about the Federation and how the Vulcans and the Romulans are related to each other. But the thing is....I don't even like Star Trek! At all! How could this happen to me? And yet I just kept reading for no real reason at all. I read about the Q Continuum, and the controversial ending of Star Trek: Voyager and how the Romulans traded their cloaking technology to the Klingons for a spanking new battlecruiser, and....

I know, I know - the only honorable path that is left to me now is self-immolation. Truly such arcane knowledge does not belong in the realms of man. However, I'm kind of shameless so I'll refrain from dousing myself in kerosene and setting myself ablaze - wouldn't be fair to deprive humanity of my awesomeness, after all. So I won't commit ritual suicide. I will, however, apologize sincerely to Kona and as penance, not abuse her for at least 24 hours, starting now. And I apologize to you, adoring fan(s). For letting you down so. I shouldn't have allowed myself to become so corrupted by the Trekkiness. It won't happen again. I promise.

The Dominating Patriarch Returns!

Generally when people return to write again on their blogs after an extended period of time, first they apologize for their long absence. They talk about how they have a "wuvvely" significant other that they like to snuggle with, or about how their cat got hit by a drunken Fed-Ex driver, or some other exceedingly lame and boring story that doesn't convince either of their blogs two readers.

But that's not the way I roll. So I won't.

I'll just move right on to the inane topic I feel like writing about today. Which is feminists. Yep, feminists - I love them. Not so much because I'm big on woman's rights, but because making them mad is so easy and utterly hilarious. Generally they're pretty mad already, but making them even more angry is pretty easy - and when they're angry, you can get some awesome little quotes.

For example - there's this feminist I sometimes debate on a certain internet forum, which I will not name. Since the political area on that forum is so heavily moderated (No cursing allowed, everyone must be polite, etc) Mara is much....feistier off of the forum. (Mara isn't her name, or even her screen name, but I'll use it because there's a connection to her screen name.) These more fiery debates often take place on her personal blog, rather than the regular forum itself. I don't want to link directly to her blog, as I don't particularly want her finding this blog in any way. (This is my personal blog for talking about random stuff, not debating) The sheer hilarity of her comments aren't to be missed, though - whenever she makes a comment about "the Patriarchy", and how men as a group are so repressive, I have to hold in the laughter. Recently she ascribed a title to me, which was defined in a post on another blog. Since this is family friendly, I won't quote the whole thing, but suffice to say it wasn't nice. When I protested (Amused all the while) she quoted passages defining the term, and saying that fit me exactly. For your reading enjoyment, here is that passage:

"But the *expletive deleted* primary advantage is that he is motivated not by intellectual curiosity, but by the vulgar patriarchal domination imperative. He’s not really about discourse at all. He fakes you out by getting you to intone your feminist manifesto, but he’s really just baiting you for the old put-a-sock-in-it-or-the-consequences-will-be-dire gambit. The *expletive deleted* has made the exciting discovery that he can dominate the women in his midst merely by threatening to revoke that most golden and priceless of gifts: his favor. In generously condescending to converse with a member of the sex caste, these putzes pretend to want to engage in serious philosoph-socio-political debate, but their only real interest lies in forcing the uppity feminist to submit to their awesome power."

(If you'd like to read the rest of the passage, just google a key sentence or two and you'll find the original blog post) She then went on to say that "If you don't think that sounds like you and the other ones I was talking about, then you need to do a bit more looking at how you come across to others". My purpose in quoting this is two-fold: First, to gloat in the fact that apparently I am motivated by "the vulgar patriarchal domination imperative" in my drive to get "uppity feminists to submit to [my] awesome power". The second is to inquire whether the rest of you were bright enough to catch on to my patriarchal domination drive before now, and whether you all properly recognize my place in the "dominant paradigm". Come now, admit that all of you - or at least, all of you who are not rich, white, protestant males who enjoy oppressing women/minorities/homosexuals/small fluffy animals - are subordinate to me in my superior and prominent place in the "dominant paradigm".

As a white protestant male, (AKA, a god) I would await your acclamation, but I don't need it. Gods don't need acknowledgment of their superiority. They just need servants to bow down and kiss their feet. And just so you know, my feet are feeling pretty unkissed right now....


Anyway, all sarcasm aside, I just wrote this to convey some tiny shred of the hilarity I feel when I read the writings of radical feminists. They're just plain fun. And to end this, I will use a quote from a famous feminist writer, Andrea Dworkin. This quote is actually one of my favorite now because it makes me laugh so hard:

Night is the time of romance. Men, like their adored vampires, go a-courting. Men, like vampires, hunt. Night licenses so-called romance and romance boils down to rape: forced entry into the domicile which is sometimes the home, always the body and what some call the soul. The female is solitary and/or sleeping. The male drinks from her until he is sated or until she is dead. The traditional flowers of courtship are the traditional flowers of the grave, delivered to the victim before the kill. The cadaver is dressed up and made up and laid down and ritually violated and consecrated to an eternity of being used. All distinctions of will and personality are obliterated and we are supposed to believe that the night, not the rapist, does the obliterating.

Men use the night to erase us.....The annihilation of a woman's personality, individuality, will, character, is prerequisite to male sexuality, and so the night is the sacred time of male sexual celebration because it is dark and in the dark it is easier not to see: not to see who she is. Male sexuality, drunk on its intrinsic contempt for all life, but especially for women's lives, can run wild, hunt down random victims, use the dark for cover, find in the dark solace, sanction, and sanctuary.

There you have it folks. Personally I must thank Ms. Dworkin sincerely - at long last, I understand that the erasure of women's personality is a prerequisite to my sexuality. Isn't it amazing how she knows more about men than men do?


*Note: Angering people is never my actual intention when debating. But angering them, and forcing them to resort to personal attacks is often a consequence of having their positions shredded merrily by some teenage kid over the Interweb.

I hate my Venetian Blinds (Reposted from my MySpace blog) I don't like Venetian blinds. They irritate me. When I got back from the backpacking trip earlier today, and walked into my room, I saw that my windows were cracked, and someone had pulled up the Venetian blinds several inches to do so. I sighed wearily. I sighed because I knew it was going to take me 5-10 minutes just to put them back down again. Now, if you're reading this, then you probably know me. You know that I'm not stupid. I'm not a genius, but I'm not an idiot either. (I may say idiotic or random things quite often, but my actual intelligence is only rarely in doubt) But my blinds outsmart me every stinking time. There are four cords on the blinds, and which ones make each side go up or down changes each time I have to move the blinds. Just when I think that I've found the cord that makes it go down, it stops working and leaves it frozen too high. It's like the blinds are playing with me, never staying consistently the same. Intellectually, I know that it's impossible for my blinds to "think" or mess with my mind. Intellectually, I know that I'm just being silly. Emotionally, and deep down inside, though, I just hate those blinds. In other news, I went with some of the GPS crew (Josh, Jacob, Andrew, Everette, Christina, and Mrs. Braun) to the Shenandoah to go backpacking. We had tons of fun messing around on top of that cliff/waterfall, jumping in that FREEZING pool of water and running around doing stupid things, and just talking about stuff. Good times, good times. Even the cold, wind, and at the end, sleet didn't make it any less fun. Actually, I think it made it more fun. Well, after the fact. If you'd asked me whether I was enjoying the sleet blowing in my face for the last hour of the hike out, I probably would have responded rather negatively. But all in all, it was fun, even if I did slow you guys down some. (Josh and Jacob - you guys are insane. Trading off carrying Christina's pack and at the end part of mine, and you still beat the rest of us to the car. Simply insane) Anyway, I need to get back to slacking off before I have to pack to to the Richmond for the RADIX debate tournament, which starts tomorrow. . It should be awesome debating with Jason, who is very, very good. And debate is always fun even when you suck, like I do. But I wish I had a bit more time to relax. (We're leaving in the morning. I have to get up at five friggen o'clock.) So later.

WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS.....

That (Wives submitting to their husbands) was the topic that was preached in church today. I admit it - whenver this is taught, in church or sunday school, I love it. Not because I have a vested interest in seeing wives actually submit to their husbands, but because I find everyone's reactions hilarious, even when they aren't obvious. There are really five groups in church when it comes to this topic....

The young guys are like "All right! You tell 'em! Lets see some servin!" You can hear the young women practically thinking "Yeah, right. No seriously, you expect me to let that dufus be in charge? The world would fall apart if we women let the men run things for even one day! No way." Meanwhile, the older, married men are thinking "Well, it's a good lesson for the women to learn. But if I elbow her, or smile, or do anything to show that I think my dear wife needs to hear this, then I'll end up on the couch. Which just proves me darn point...." And the middle aged women, of course, are thinking "If he expects me to actually serve him I'll wallop him good! I'm not doing his laundry! Not that I'm a bad wife, or anything. Actually, I'm quite loving....."

And finally, there's David. David sits in the back of the room, and laughs at everyone, because most of them are missing the point. And because everyone's response is hilarious.

I love being me. It's so much fun.

The Snow Day


Today I woke up at about 8:30. I showered and dressed for church, without looking out of my window. (I always sleep with the blinds closed) I walked into my parents room to hear the news going on about church's closing. I asked what was going on, and was told to look out the window. Of course, the delightful sight of several inches of freshly fallen snow met me. A truly wonderful sight.

We didn't go to church because of all the snow. We stayed at home - Dad shoveled the driveway, while I played on the computer for awhile before going outside to play in the snow with my little brothers and the dog. After the obligatory snow ball exchange, I dueled Daniel with plastic swords on the front lawn, while still throwing snow balls at Daniel and Kona. Also, a neighbor had to borrow Dad's Jeep to take his pregnant wife to the hospital, as she was having a baby. His truck couldn't make it up the hill, as it was only a two wheel drive-er. What's the point of a truck that's only two wheel drive? Seriously.

A little later, after going inside to warm up, Daniel and I made a snowman. Or snow-eraser man, rather, as he was Prometheus in the snow. I used one of the plastic swords to carve his eraser characteristics out of the raw snowman form. Yes, that's right - for a few brief moments, Prometheus' spirit visited us from his home in the Heavens, and imbued a snowfigure with his wonderful essence! He mostly just stood there and sort of smiled....pretty much what he was doing before he came down to earth. But still, he was there.

I took pictures, and even a video. Maybe I'll post them when the darn camera starts working.

Besides snowman building, I also played some Halo and watched some Law and Order. I had just gotten onto the computer to work on my dreaded English essay, when the power went out. That was very, very irritating. But we did stuff; stuff that mostly involved playing with matches and candles and in my Mom's words, "bouncing off the walls" to an irritating extreme. I also read the Sunday comics. Eventually I talked Mom and Dad into taking us to Five Guys for dinner, which was good. And then we came back here, and the power was back on. And then I got on the computer, and found that we don't have school tomorrow, which is awesome.

Very, very yes. So I don't have to finish my evil English paper on character and class, and I can waste time on the internet and playing Civ4, because tomorrow is free. (Or as free as any day where I have to do school at home is.) So until I see, or talk to you again - laters.

Valentines Day

The most horrible and terrible of all holiday. The most pointless, the most evil, the most perverted. A day all about men spending their hard earned money to buy expensive gifts for their wives or girlfriend in a desperate attempt to earn love and affection for a short while, until they desire more.

Valentines Day is an over-hyped, over-commercialized Hallmark holiday. I don't like it. I'll eat all the candy I can get, of course, but I don't "celebrate" it in the classical sense. I don't have a "Valentine" and I didn't give any girl a gift today.

But in other news, we got lots of snow today, so it was a snow day. And Mom is making cinnamon rolls. Sweet! A day of Civ4 and Halo on Legendary! Yes! And sadly, Latin as well, as I'm about 3 weeks behind......

Later my friends, and don't let the space potato eat you! Oh, and don't give a girl presents or candy today. She probably doesn't deserve it, and you know you want to eat the chocolate and jelly beans yourself. If she's really, really, really special then you're allowed to give her a hug (In private please! Let's have some decorum in public!) and tell her you like her as well. (Assuming she likes you - because if she doesn't, giving her a hug could be considered rather creepy) Remember: Hugs and words are cheap. Candy and flowers cost money. Be thrifty!

I just got back from the three day tournament up in Maryland. Exhausting, and we didn't even break. I don't have the exact numbers on how we did, since we left early, but I think we did pretty well, probably 2-4 or 3-3. (Most likely 3-3) Fun stuff, but now I'm tired, and I want to play some Civ4.

We saw the Welch's while we were up there. We ate Lebanese food. Why is it, that whenever we see them, we go to some strange restaurant where I don't know what to order? They always have good food, but I'd like to go to a normal restaurant with them, just once, where I can order normal food like a hamburger. But the lamb kabob was good. And I suppose it was good seeing the friends, and I got to hand off a book....

I have tons of homework to do tomorrow, as I haven't done any school since Wednesday. I'll be busy. I probably won't even finish it all. Oh well, I'm not working on any tonight, and if I get behind and have to turn in stuff late, then that's what I'm going to do, at least I have a good excuse. But I have two tests on Monday....ah man. The cost of debate - darn it! If only I could honestly say I thought it wasn't worth it. But I can't, it was definitely worth it, even if I do 12 hours of homework tomorrow to catch myself up. Man, is that pathetic, or what?